THE MINISTRY OF CAMPING: The Volunteer Vacation

Let’s face it: time is a fixed commodity. Demands (and the demands that temptations bring) clamor loudly for their share of a finite and precious resource. Time we expend for one thing is gone forever and can’t be used for another. Try as we might, we cannot add another hour to the day or another week to the summer.

Perhaps this is why a common reaction among our congregants to the utterance of the three words “church camp counselor” by an erstwhile recruiter is a mumbled excuse and a hasty retreat to the safety of a crowded vestibule. Why in the world would anyone want to give up a week of their summer and possibly their only week of vacation all year to “rough it” with a bunch of kids who are not even their own?

Well, I’ll tell you why. What do you do on vacation? Play golf? You do that on Saturdays. Eat out? Everyone does that all the time these days. Sit and read a book? You’ve got chairs at home. Get up an hour before your household and go for it! Go to the beach? Hmm … well, you’ve got me there — there’s nothing like the beach. Anyway, the point is, just about anything we do on vacation we do, or can do in bits and pieces all year long. If, however, you regard a vacation as a true escape from the every day world, a week at church camp fills the bill quite nicely. How often during the year, for example, do you sleep on a four-inch mattress on an iron cot or have to put on your shoes to go to the bathroom? When was the last time you stood too close to a large brass bell before it rang for a meal and then really didn’t have to pay too much attention to anyone for a couple of hours?

OK, I can sense a lot of confused looks out there, so let’s throw this open to Q & A:

Prospective Counselor: Dean Stu, I went on a cruise last year and got really tired of the salt air. Plus the water always tasted icky! How will my church camp experience be different?

Dean Stu: The church camp staff works round the clock to make sure that fresh, pure, great outdoors air and water is available 24/7, and at no cost! PC: When I dine out at fancy upscale restaurants on my vacation, I am often overwhelmed by the number of choices on the menu, not to mention the daily specials as recited by my waitperson. Will there be equally frustrating mealtime experiences at church camp?

DS: Heavens no! The professional chef staff knows intuitively what you would like to eat at every meal and prepares it for you fresh that day. Amazingly, these will be the same dishes that everyone else would like as well! PC: I enjoy shopping on my vacation. What shopping opportunities does church camp offer?

DS: At the church camp mini-mini-mall, merchandise runs the gamut from T-shirts to hats, and back again. And, it is open at some time each and every day! PC: I enjoy being pampered with the complimentary toiletries I find every morning in my bath-suite at fabulous resorts. How will my church camp experience compare to this?

DS: It will be far superior! Your church camp toiletries will have been personalized for you based on years of experience. This is because you will bring them from home! And, if they are fancy enough, other counselors may well compliment you in the bath-house, er, suite.

PC: On my exotic vacations I enjoy interacting with the beguiling innocents of strange and unfathomable cultures. Will I be able to do such things at church camp?

DS: You don’t have kids, do you?

PC: A month or so after returning from my luxurious and self-absorbed vacations I am dismayed to find letters in my mailbox from companies with strange names like “Visa” and “Mastercard” demanding thousands of dollars. Will such distasteful occurrences follow my volunteer vacation at church camp?

DS: Not if you pay cash for your gas. The mini-mini-mall does not take credit cards.

PC: My spouse prefers me to spend my limited vacation time doing jobs around the house that I’ve been putting off all year. How do I make the case that I should go to church camp instead?

DS: The fact that you will actually be doing something worthwhile and helpful for youth at church camp enables you to play the “altruism card” during familial negotiations. The “altruism card” always trumps the “honeydew card!”

Well, my column space is about up for today, but let me add a final note: There IS a beach at church camp, sand included, and there are breakers, of a sort, if a lot of campers are in the water. Good luck and enjoy your volunteer vacation!

Dean Stu is a member of Home Moravian Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and has missed junior camp at Laurel Ridge only once in 20-odd years, including ones when he had only one week of vacation.