Spiritual Formation in Children
In 1972 Dorothy Law Nolte wrote a poem titled “Children Learn What They Live.” Dr. Nolte highlighted children learn from their experiences. Some of her examples were children learn to condemn from criticism; apprehension from fear; justice from fairness; truthfulness from honesty; love from acceptance; generosity from sharing. In reflecting on how spirituality is formed in children, consider the title of this poem — children learn what they live.
Comenius taught parents are the first teachers of their children. Therefore parents are the first teachers of spiritual formation and live the example of loving and serving Christ. Since parents set the tone and examples for what is acceptable in the family, they become the mentors of prayer, rituals, traditions, study, and more. Spiritual formation takes place step-by-step or seed-by-seed as children live and experience holy moments. As parents model how to live a Christian life, children will learn from the example — they will learn what they live in the home and faith community.
The practice of prayer in the home introduces the child to the language of speaking to God. Blessings before meals, prayers at bedtime, prayers for friends, prayers of thanksgiving begin as habits and grow into an understanding of God’s desire to communicate with his children. On vacation this past summer, my two-year-old great nephew announced before mealtime “Blessing! Blessing!” He was in the habit of praying a blessing for his food. Although he only knew the words “come Lord Jesus” and “amen” he knew the ritual was important. Of course it didn’t hurt to command the attention of a roomful of adults when he made the announcement. Hopefully we reinforced giving thanks, which his parents had instilled in him at home.
Mealtime, carpooling, and bedtime provide opportunities for family members to share where they have seen God during the day. Look at the colors God painted in the sunset; remember the story of promise when a rainbow appears; recall the resurrection of Jesus when a butterfly soars overhead; the wind may be a reminder of the breath of God across creation. Claiming God’s presence in the everyday events of life encourages the seeking of God.
Devotional time is important as we grow in relationship with our Savior. Are Bibles visible and often read in the home? Are Bible storybooks available? Is there a special place for the family or individuals to gather for prayer? When my children were home, I enjoyed a break from the rush of our routine by sitting on our screened porch to read scriptures and pray. Our daughters learned this was important to me and honored this time. It also opened conversations to discuss why we pray and about my relationship with Christ. I modeled personal time with Christ.
The practice of attending worship regularly teaches children about the family of Christ. The church community provides other adults who can become significant role models and teachers. These individuals reinforce what has been taught at home, in church school, and worship. They become the people who teach loving our neighbor. The rituals of worship, liturgies, or holiday services teach the language of worship, and the joy of praising God. However, some intentional efforts from parents (and adult friends in the church) are needed to help children connect with the worship and church experience. Consider how children are involved in the various ministries. Have children stand and sit while following the liturgy. I believe children hear the announcements and sermon while hands are busy with coloring, dolls, or cars but not while they are reading a book. It is the parent’s duty to set the expectation of how the children will participate in worship.
Family holiday traditions, especially Christmas and Easter, provide opportunity to share the Christian story and learn ways to express faith. Children can create a putz for the family; count down the days to Christmas with an Advent calendar and learn it is a time of preparing for our Lord; flower the cross; participate in the Holy Week Reading services; play in the Sunrise Service band or sing in the choir. These are only a few examples.
Live, share, and teach faith. Life at home and in the church provides multiple opportunities to encourage spiritual development in children. Children learn what they live.
