At Calvary Moravian Church in Winston-Salem, the death of a member’s close family member sparks not only the usual procession of casseroles and desserts, the usual flood of cards and emails, flowers and memorial gifts, but a very practical response as well. The Bereavement Box ministry began several years ago, and is continued by Calvary’s Sisters Fellowship.
Upon the death of a close family member (parent, child, spouse/partner, sibling), a Bereavement Box is delivered to the home of the person most likely to be dealing with the “administrative details” following a death. It is a simple, unassuming item—just a hard plastic portable file box with a carrying handle and flip-top lid, filled with folders and supplies. But the box and its contents are a practical administrative aid at a time when details are easily lost amidst the overwhelming situation.
As soon as a death is announced through the church’s usual communications channels, someone lets the bereaved know that a box will be delivered, and what the intent of the box is. At least one sister, when she plans to deliver a box, simply lets the bereaved know that she’s dropping by within a time window to leave the box on the front step, so that they need not feel responsible for being home or greeting anyone.
A sheet showing the contents of the box (see below) is included within the box itself, along with a condolence card signed on behalf of the Sisters Fellowship. The boxes are stored in a location readily accessible to the Sisters, but out of the way of other supplies. When the boxes run low, more are assembled, using funds from the Sisters’ annual Christmas Lovefeast-in-a-Box sales.
A bereavement box may be delivered to someone on the death of a more distant relation if there was a special relationship there, and at least one person has delivered such a box to a friend who is not a member – reimbursing the funds by personal donation (each box costs about $30 to assemble).
It is not uncommon for these boxes to become something of a keepsake for grieving families, as they ultimately house the tokens of their loved one’s celebration of life and the evidence of lovingkindness shared with their family during a time of need.
Each Bereavement Box contains:
- Hanging file folders to organize things such as: obituary (drafts and copies from newspapers); cards, memorials, photos, memoir, bills/expenses and others
- Legal pad and pens for making lists and taking notes/phone messages
- Paper clips for attaching flower cards to index cards
- Masking tape for labeling unmarked food containers
- Alphabetized index card box to track names of people to thank later – those who helped, gave memorials, flowers, food, etc.
- A supply of thank you notes and envelopes
- An invitation to call or email with questions or suggestions, with contact information
Is this something that would be helpful in your congregation? To learn more about how congregations can build their own bereavement boxes, contact Nola Knouse, [email protected].
Lydia Ingram is a member of Calvary Moravian Church in Winston-Salem, and Nola Knouse, is pastor of Congregational Care & Visitation at Calvary.
